Jokes
Celebrity
[This joke was told during the Carter administration.]
Carter, Ford, Kissinger, a rabbi and a hippie were flying in a small plane. The
plane developed engine trouble and it became clear that a crash was inevitable. They
decided to bail out, but there were only four parachutes. Carter said, "I'm the
President and the country needs me, so I've got to have one of the parachutes." He
grabbed a parachute and jumped out. Ford said, "I'm the ex-President and he needs me
to advise him." He took a parachute and jumped out. Then Kissinger said, "I'm
the smartest man in the world so I've got to have a parachute." And he took a
parachute and jumped out. The rabbi turned to the hippie and said, "Son, I'm an old
man. I've lived my life. You take the last parachute." And the hippie said,
"Don't sweat it, man. The smartest man in the world just jumped with my
backpack."
What do you call a dog with wings?
Linda McCartney.
What kind of wood doesn't float?
Natalie.
What would Jesse Jackson be if he became enlightened?
A jigabuddha.
Who are the most famous Martian comedians?
Steve Alien and Woody Alien.
Why are Ray Charles and Steve Wonder always smiling?
They don't know they're black.
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.