Word Play

Kevin Langdon

False Etymology

• Arizona. From "arid zone."
• Avid. Embracing passionate desire, from Sanskrit avidya, ignorance.
• Democracy. De people get to mock de leaders.
• Derogation. Rogation is the insidious influence of rogues on those around them and derogation is the exposure of the speciousness and self-serving character of their constructs and arguments.
• Dianetics. From L. Ron Hubbard's first client, a woman named Diane with a facial tic.
• Hello. From "Oh, hell," via dyslexia. An acknowledgement that the other is a suffering being like oneself.
• Hoax. Ax a ho, she give you jive.
• Jihad. From "J I had." Them crazy Arabs get hopped up on hashish and go fight somebody.
• Mosey. To wander like Moses.
• Peer Review. The reviewers peer at it to see if it's any good.
• Peon. Someone who's peed on by the nobles.
• Mt. Ranier. From "rain here."

Inversion Palindromes

• a snow mouse.
• awe: a "me."
• oh, he's smashed. pay, sews, say "yo."
• ¡s.d. 0.0--Oops!
• we saw a modem swap; owe me, sam.

Miscellaneous

• A messiah without an I is just a mess (ah!).
• I hate "gratuitous" quotation marks.
• Names of the first twenty half-integral numbers: zun, woo, twee, throur, frive, fix, skeven, seveight, einine, nen, televen, elelve, twirteen, throurteen, frifteen, fixteen, skeventeen, seveighteen, einineteen, ninenty.
• Napoleon: no one, pal.
• Spot opts post, tops. Stop!
• The principal disciple of the teacher who called himself the "son" was "Jew Peter."
• What's the remedy for "Goth sleep"? The Gospels.
• What's the World Wide Web made out of? The World Wide Warp and the World Wide Weft.

Palindromes

• Bewarer of ye, Kermit. Civil I, victim. Rekey for era: Web.
• "Cram! De IRC is not so hot to host on! Si!" cried Marc.
• Decide: mango date set; a dog named, iced.
• Dish one pole to my groom, oh masturbator. Rot! A Burt/Sam homo orgy motel open. Oh, Sid!
• Do, O, go smite Negro ego, George. Net: "I'm so good!"
• Evil, oh wise. Yep! See Moses use some ESP eyes.  --I who live
• Hell, an evil spirit tap. Patti rips. Liven all, eh?
• Hola! No "it." Omen: use vat codes. Pale sun, even in nine Venus elapsed octaves. Unemotional. Oh.
• Hoopla. Alpo. Oh.
• I am--oy, oy, ma!--I am Yo-Yo Ma, I.
• I B Osama. I am a SOB, I.
• I'm a mutt, oh ami. Hot Tim: ova vomit to him. A hot tum, am I?
• I say, "Am I Amarna, Mormonism, Sin, Om, Roman, Rama? `I'--Maya. Si!"
• Lie! Not, so, Duke. Kudos to Neil.
• Live dam or fool I am. E-mail (oo!) from a devil.
• Lo! Louis Braille, el liar. B.S. I, U? O, LOL!
• Loops, secrets: no melatonin in I (no tale)--monster cesspool.
• Mad Amin am, or a Tatar. O, man, I'm Adam!
• Media: Rotten.Nabil@Taliban.net to raid 'em.
• Man, a clever ass. I'm to nod. I do not miss a revel. Can. Am.
• Neil: An aloof damsel, as Di puts it (on pot). Stop! Not I, stupid, sales-mad fool--an alien!
• No "I" gels, i.e., many. "My name is legion."
• No "I," to me, sad as emotion.
• No me don minis, live on no evil sin. I'm no demon.
• No, tell Lisa, as I'll let on.
• Nostradamus. Sum: a dart, son.
• Not like no "her," eh? One kilt on.
• Now I am deified, ma. I won.
• No wise, no. Bong! No logic. I go long. No bones. I won.
• Now stop to panic in a pot. Pots won.
• Ode: We kill every tin-ass martyr. Every tram's sanity revel: "Like we do!"
• Oh, out homo, Tom? Oh, tu? Oho!
• Oh, we rip mullahs' sled, if nine to ten infidels shall umpire who.
• Om. I am raked! Am, Ned! Direr acts, O, most care-ridden, made karma, IMO.
• O, Yuma, I am U. Yo!
• Pi! HS rot! I denied a mix I made in editorship.
• Pol Pot is top pol for pro flop. Pot, si, top--lop!
• Red? No. Piss all! It's a finer rabid dog I'm on. Omigod, Di, barren if a still ass I ponder.
• "R U a ton?" "I'm a Minotaur!"
• Sagan, I. Supple hope, Ron. No repo. Help! Pus in a gas!
• Sam: God, foe of dogmas.
• Sex at noon, no drapes. Use pardon, no on taxes.
• Sin is "I." I, one? No I is in "I's."
• So resumed donuts stun odd emus.  --Eros
• Stars do go to jihad? "Ah," I jot, "O God, 's rats!"
• Star Wars: "I, Yoda." Ad: "Oy, is raw rats!"
• Swag we get are poems. Tell? I am fine, e'en if mail lets me operate gewgaws.
• Tie. So here we sit, Rev. Das. If us Sufis advertise we rehose it.
• Tin one, poet (or wit), I wrote "open" on it.
• To Id: Ina said, "Do not sob, Boston." Odd, I as an idiot.
• To N.: Fire her if not.
• Wolf robbed: ebb or flow?
• Yo, boats apart, Xeno. Sleek keels on extra pasta, oboy!
• "You channel Leibniz in bi Ellen?" "Nah! CU! Oy!"
• You meet a DNA pack. Radar of ogre: he (damn!) made her go for a dark cap and ate emu. Oy!

Repeating Letter Cycles

• Do come in, Ike, village doc. O, mein "I," "Kev." I'll age.
• Then open is the no-penis.
• U: pioneer going up. I: one, ergo, in g.

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